Friday, December 17, 2004
fRusTraTioNs...
i dread facing the computer...
i hate the last week of classes this year...
talk about being HECTIC...i guess that's an understatement.
i felt like i was drugged (although i haven't really experienced it for real)...i slept for a maximum of 3 hours...sleeping was a luxury i craved...i had trouble recognizing what's real from fiction...i felt like i was dreaming the whole time...that didn't feel right.
it all started out last friday...or maybe days before that...but i chose friday...
at 10 o'clock in the morning, i was done with school...after my socsci 2 class, i rushed to get my bio12 plates and physics recit and submitted my article for the UNESCO UPD newsletter. i was dressed nicely, but my feet hurt...i was wearing high-heeled shoes, a deviation from my usual flats...i wasn't prepared for the brisk walking i had to face that day...and to top it all of, i slept late the night before...we went to the Kiwanis christmas party...the mayor was there...and guess what? i was sleeping on the couch...tadah!
at 11 am, me and 4 of my female groupmates at pscyh 118 were off to the Lopez Museum in Ortigas...it was field research day...i finally had experienced riding the MRT and LRT1 that day. we ate lunch at megamall, walked (and lost our way) going to the museum, J-walked (you won't understand it), and arrived at the museum safe and sound...luckily, the weather was nice...
the museum tour was fine, but it was so cold...by the time we went back to megamall, i felt sick and started coughing...we rode the FX up to quiapo...i slept...then i started getting cranky...
i told you i felt sick...and tired.
imagine...
you are so tired from all the walking...you are starting to feel blisters in your feet...you are in busy quiapo...an unknown land...you are not mentally and psychologically prepared for the experience (even if you went there just a couple of weeks ago)...your friends wanted to go shopping for pirated DVDs...you are forced to join them even if you don't want to...you are outnumbered...you don't want to be left alone...
you are definitely a stranger...it's recognizable...people watch you...you seem like an alien in a different planet...just look at you...from the way you dress to the way you look at the people and places around you...you long for your friends to finish shopping, but it seems like it's going to take them so long...the sun is slowly setting...damn! would they please hurry up?
you start to argue with yourself...everything will be over if can just find the stand that sells 4 DVDs for a hundred pesos...dilemma: where was that place? two of your friends already bought DVDs...but they were not a bargain...damn! they went all the way here to buy a DVD for a minimum of 60 pesos? you could buy a similar one at a convenient place...not here in dirty and busy quiapo. frustration. anger slowly starts to seep in. one of your friend who suggested shopping for DVDs didn't bought a single DVD...what the?!?! more frustration.
you finally left the place. silent. angry. frustrated. tired. sweaty...a li'l bit. cranky. you walked a long way up to the recto station of LRT 1. drunk people stalked you. people started calling you. leche! you climbed the wrong flight of stairs...you went down and crossed the street. the right station was on the other side. the train was full. you hated that. geesh! crowded places make you feel sick.
when you finally arrived at Robinsons Manila, you felt like talking to your friends, but didn't feel like it. they were curious about you not smiling. how could you smile if you're tired and frustrated? you can't tell them how you feel...you still have to spend the rest of the night with them...too risky. they thought you were hungry...so you went to wendy's to eat. you don't like wendy's. you didn't feel like complaining. you ate a cheap meal of chili rice. it was fine. the only male groupmate you have arrived...he should have joined us at quiapo...you would have felt more secured. after eating, you all went to the CR. you washed your face. *snap!*
you woke up...
do you get it now? later on, at around 8pm, we started walking to Malate...our project's area of research. it meant more walking. we divided ourselves into 3 pairs and each pair had to walk 3 streets in Malate. i had to walk at bocobo, adriatico, and mabini with krystel. it was tiring. i had to count the cigarette butts on the streets while krystel had to count the noncommercial houses and listen to the language used by the people we saw conversing at the streets. i was doubtful about the subject on noncommercial houses...and as it turned out, our final paper about that was wrong, according to our professor...hmph! sana pinakinggan nila ako when i told them about noncommercial houses not being evidence of erosion.
anyway, the three streets were all long...some even had some sort of squatter's area so we had to ditch those parts...scary...more stalkers for me.
my feet and throat hurts after all that walking...
then we headed for starbucks at adriatico...buti naman! we started brainstorming for our project. i thought everything will be done at around 12 am...so i asked my dad to fetch us (coz some wanted to hitch a ride) at the gasoline station at mabini cor. quirino ave....none of my groupmates came with me, fyi. kainis! anyway, i felt relieved din...finally, rest time.
but then, i had to wake up early the next day for a meeting at ivy's house. i was tired and i felt like sleeping the whole day...thanks to the cold weather...i woke up late and arrived at ivy's at around 10:30...2 and a half hour late...that was so not me...
we, dean, ivy, and I, started shooting...and ended at around 10pm...buti na lang ok yung food kina ivy...hehe!=P
then, the next day, sunday, i had to go to ivy's house again to do some editing. we could not have it edited someplace else. it was both our first time to do the editing so we finished it at around 10:30 pm...the final product was fine but not totally a first class movie project...what do you expect?
monday...tuesday...i just did a paper for psych 118...krystel insisted on a sleepover at her place. i was not up for it. bakit ba ang hilig niya sa sleepovers (at her place ha...)?! i felt like sleeping instead. we just finished the paper at her house the next day. it went fine naman.
wednesday...rest day! yipee! but i had to buy a kris kringle gift for barre...so i went with my mom to rob that night...hirap mamili ng gift ha...i didn't go to the UNESCO xmas party because i was so tired and i hate to miss the simbang gabi that night...i want to complete the simbang gabi...baka sakaling matupad yung hiling ko...
thursday...inis...may bio classes pa rin ako...to think of it, it was supposed to be vacation already. i got gifts from ivy, dean, and frances (she picked for the pugad kris kringle)...we ate cello's doughnuts which jL bought for us... i missed seeing the "handog" at phan. i missed the oblation run...first time to miss it this year...
but i got to watch the lantern parade for the first time...hindi lang ako makasigaw...my voice is still precious...baka mawala pa ng tuluyan...pero ang ganda ha...especially that of the fine arts studes...they really deserve to be exempted...or else they'll keep on winning...give chance to others naman...;)
so there goes my thursday...my sis and i went to buy 3 dozen doughnuts at cello's...we ate dinner at cabalen since my aunt and unc from canada are here...
my savings are on the rise...nice christmas, i must say...
but my mom went with my aunt and unc to the prov...she won't be here for christmas...sayang! kainis din...
i still am not in my christmas spirit...sabi ko nga kay ivy, para akong si scrooge...kulang na lang eh bisitahin ako ng ghost of xmas past, present and future...
i still haven't done my christmas shopping...eto na naman...rush hour pa naman.
***
christmas woes...
i am slowly starting to be less of an antisocial...
i've gained new friends from psych...
but i miss the orgasm kada...sked problems...
i miss my bestfriend...priority: acads and chris...don't wanna argue with that...
now i know how it really feels to genuinely miss people...
now i know how it feels to truly belong and still feel alone...
i can't explain my feelings right now. confusing eh...
nagtatampo ako...naiinis...nalulungkot...
thanks to my new found friends...miss the old ones...i sincerely hope to see you around soon...bonding session naman...
merry christmas to me...
| nadZ went splisha-splashing at 8:42 pm
