Friday, April 14, 2006
GOOD old FRIDAY
One thing about Holy Week...it has changed yet it still seems to have not changed at all. It has somehow lacked it's meaning for some. See? They're all vacationing in Bora or Galera for that matter. I saw the interviews on TV and the people there, even if they say they pray or reflect at night, I still can't seem to imagine them doing that. Empty words. And I'm not being bitter for not being in some vacation hot spot for that matter. I am guilty still as well. At 3pm, the time that Jesus is crucified, I was lying in bed and watching 7th Heaven with Papa.
The usual TV shows, like usual, weren't aired on TV and instead were replaced by good old reruns and marathons. The thing with marathons, they're really not boring for me. Kinda like them. I was able to watch Gilmore Girls and 7th Heaven...catching up on episodes I haven't seen. Gilmore Girls reminds me of my relationship with Mama...barkada-like or something. As for 7th Heaven, the last epi awhile ago kinda made me think of my decision of being a doctor. Makes me think back of worthy reasons why I'm choosing this career. Well, the first time I thought of being a doctor was way way back in a car when I was a kid (probably less than 10 yrs. old). I simply said that I wanted the white frocks (made me think of becoming a nun as well...not cut out for that though). I don't know if that was good enough reason, but it was a start. Eventually, I began thinking of being a doctor for the barrios just like an aunt who, despite being a board topnotcher, went all the way to Africa to some missionary work. Never heard from her ever again though. Then, I wanted to help my parents, most especially Mama since she has goiter problems. Now, are my reasons okay enough?
I finished "Honey Moon" already, hence I slept at around 3 in the morning already. It was kinda good although I wasn't comfortable with the sudden shifts in the perspectives used in the book. One minute you're reading in the first person POV and the next thing you read, it's on the 3rd person POV already. Get's kinda confusing. I keep on bombarding my blog with phrases from the book and I still am not over that.
I was hemmed in by four walls, I was very safe. I still felt like I might fall over the edge. Fall over the edge of the world. I'd stepped into another dimension -- or, rather, I had a sense of the world being two-dimensional. I mean, what if the things that seemed so far away were, in fact, just on the other side? What if we lived in a flat world rather than a round world so that just on the other side of despair was joy, just on the other side of deprivation was abundance and just on the other side of loneliness was love? What if the things we want so badly were right there in front of us the whole time? What if we just had to reach our hand through the invisible barrier?
Sometimes I think reality is the most painful thing in life. And that's a terrible thing because reality is the only thing in life. When you come to think of it.
I beg to disagree on the part regarding reality and it being the only thing in life although it's very basic in life...in some way. There are imaginations and things that may only run in our heads that are still part of life. The thing is, with imaginations, they may complicate matters. They are able to distort reality and make it more painful for us to accept reality.
| nadZ went splisha-splashing at 8:38 pm
