I haven't blogged for the longest time, but I just had to let this one out.

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately.

I realized that I am one of the least argumentative person I know of and one to complain less of things...and it's not because I don't care at all.

I do care.

I care even about the simplest things. The dirt on my shoe. The smell of the nearest garbage can. The wisps of hair brushing on my face from my fellow jeepney passenger. The very audible ipod music which should be heard by my seatmate alone (so why am I still hearing it?).

It's just that there are a lot of things worth noting other than those simple things I see or encounter everyday. Perhaps I've seen worse or have imagined worst things. I'm not exactly sure. Or perhaps I've come to realize that some things just won't change.

Say for example, I may agree on you if you tell me that the patients at the ward smell bad, but don't expect me to be the first one to suggest that. I've entered med school with the expectation of smelling or seeing the worst. *So for those telling me the same things over and over again, you know my thoughts on this one already.*

Maybe I'm just too tired of putting forth an opinion. However, no matter how much I "seem" to agree on some things or stay quiet in the midst of an "intellectual" discussion, my head's going crazy with all the arguments or opinions I have decided to keep to myself. Only the trustworthy ones get to hear them out. Sometimes, it's because my mouth can't really keep up with what's in my head (or vice versa). My fault.

Or perhaps I have been trained do so.

When I was in grade school (not that I'm boasting here), I have earned the status of being the "top" student in class. And as I believe, the teachers have seen enough of my hand during recitations. I have personally decided to let the others answer the questions. The teacher just calls on me if no one else can answer. Probably, I've imbibed the same thing up to present...don't expect me to talk unless you call on me...or something like that.

Sometimes, I've grown tired of this game. I can never count the times I have wished to have raised out my hand or say my thoughts out loud. Regretfully too many times. But past is past. I am one to easily move on forward.

Most of the time, I see myself as the person who'd always try to see the silver lining in every situation. If there's something wrong, why not try to change it yourself? Just like awhile ago, the pesto tasted bland. Instead of calling the waiter's attention, I just added a dash of salt to the food. When a fellow fx passenger complained of the crowded seating (4 per row as it was always), I even felt irritated of her. It has always been like that. I was almost tempted to say to her to change fx if she wanted to.

I'm not exactly sure if what I'm experiencing is a surge of independence.

Or perhaps I've grown to respect other people's opinions like that of my own and I'd rather hear them listen and rant rather than share my thoughts or boggle their minds more. Or perhaps I'm just too scared that they won't respect my thoughts as much as I've respected theirs. I'm clearly an opinionated person if you see through my head.

I hope you don't get me wrong here though. I am not always agreeable. It's just that I find myself saying more "yeses" most of the time and complaining "less". I'm afraid to be mean and to sound stupid.

Oh well...let's see by "next time" if my thoughts on things change. If speaking up is "always" more rewarding.

I clearly am trying to be my own psychiatrist here. Haha. =p

Time to shift back to "aral" mode.

I need to write. Oh c'mon. It's been like...months already.

I've lost the knack of blogging...or even writing. That part of my brain which holds all knowledge gained from years of English classes has finally been occupied by my increasing collection of medical information...which by the way still can't fit in this brain of mine. From "endless" Psych papers way back in college, I have now mastered the art of writing medical reports...which by the way doesn't necessarily follow grammar rules. So flunk me now.

Anyway, first sem's over, and I have wasted a 12-day vacay (darn it!). First 3 days were spent for community service (that's sort of a "thank you" pay for my scholarship), 2 days for a med mish in Batangas (nope...no circumcision involved), and the rest for bumming here at home. I got out from time to time...no big deal. Attended fashion week's gala night (coz I have a landscape architect-slash-fashion designer-slash-slash-slash for a sister) and had dinner at Amici once for the supposedly celeb of Nida's birtday which ended up all wrong (at least we had fun playing...keber to all people). And to think of it, I have a few months left before the big "I"...which will also mean no more regular TV hours (boohoo!), no more sleeping (oh...just a lil bit here and there and everywhere), and no more bathing (no way! =p). Hopefully, I pass my subjects first. There's my most hated OB subject and the so-so Med to worry about.

First sem's kinda tricky. First of all, I seem to be forgetful...I'm talking about my long term memory. Probably the lack of sleep has made my LTM bank weaker. I've gained stronger friendships now...but I feel like there's something wrong with me. Basta. Long explanation. I've been seeing a lot of Amici...like every birthday and every event imaginable (OA na). Isa pang OA...it's not a good year "health-wise". Lots of relatives getting sick (stroke, tumor, and lotsa surgeries) and Uncle Boni dying. And of course, me getting bigger. I bet I've tipped of the scale to overweight. I've developed the preference to wear more dresses coz my pants don't fit me well na. Haha. =p I've been seeing less of Papa also...he's been working and doing lots of Kiwanis stuff now that he's the governor. I sometimes join the Kiwanis parties...and worry about my outfit...if I ever feel the need to do some traveling and socializing...with Papa's very "plastic" opponents. Grr...I really hate them. They're old people acting like kids. You can just imagine.

So there again...I'm done with my stories. I'm just boring myself. And now I'm bored. So there. Haha. =p

You know you love me, XOXO. --> Harhar.

I never thought a class in Anesthesiology (Surgery) would grant me the privilege of seeing a CS procedure. Well, for one, the SI in OB-Gyn was not courageous enough to allow us to watch a CS before for our OB class. Well, at least yung nakita ko ngayon eh mas maganda...si Dr. Elma gumawa so mas okay. Boo to that SI.

Grabe...ang galing. Siyempre, the prepping scared me. Gawd...ang sakit siguro nung 3 1/2 inches spinal needle. Eek...hate needles talaga. Pero ang sarap ng feeling nung nilabas na yung baby...tapos nung umiyak na siya.Wow talaga. Ang hirap iexplain. But that still doesn't mean I can see myself getting pregnant, having children, or being a mother even in the future. It's something I haven't envisioned yet.

Also, it was Tin's birthday today...so we ate at Amici's again. Sarap talaga ng food don. And I got to try the Panna Cotta today. The price was more than worth it. Sarap eh. Amici never fails my taste buds...not yet anyway. I have yet to try more. :)

Haven't done much writing except for my quintessential papers every week.

Been hooked with the Twilight saga. I've had this fascination with vampires for years now...probably because they're very sensual creatures. Haay...I'm quite envious of Bella there. And well...don't you just love the cars in the book? =p Had to sacrifice my studying and my wallet for this addiction. I never imagined I was capable of spending that much money for weeks straight...and I used to go bankrupt every weekend before that. :P Anyway, it took really great effort and a wonderful saleslady from National Bookstore to finally obtain the fourth book. Everything's on advance reservation already. I just got lucky there. Well...yesterday was one lucky day actually.

Well...had my driving licensed renewed. Been putting that off due to school. Talked to a lot of people yesterday while at the LTO...random people like the father who had his two kids with him, the man who borrowed my pen, the girl who had a gay friend with her na sobrang ingay nila together, the man from the drug testing center who was good enough to clean the CR, and last but not the least, the guy who was behind me in line na naghatid ng drug test results ko when I forgot it at the drug testing center ;). Haay...I was just feeling friendly yesterday. :p Share ko lang...when my name was called sa LTO, lahat napatingin...akala si Kitchie Nadal. Lech. =p

Ayun...also have eyeglasses already. Finally. After being in denial for so long. 100 for both eyes, +25 for astigmatism on the left eye. Shux. I feel blind already. :S

So much for that. Have to go abandon delinquency for now. Til next time.

XOXO --> gossip girl's being cloned on Philippine TV. Eww...

See you next time at the movies...malapit na "For The First Time". ;p

My blogging lifestyle: Hiatus on and off.

Reason: My very toxic med life...makes me wonder if this is really worth it. :O

Resolution: De-stress...de-stress...de-stress. Kunwari lang. =p

And so, acting on impulse, I bought another swimsuit today. I could have bought many if not for the lack of money.

I'm always broke these days. And I still wonder why.

Nanalo si Ejay! Boo-hoo.

Sabi ko nga, I wanted Robi to win just to show all those people that not only the poor are deserving to win PBB. Reality show na naturingan pero nagmumukhang glorified Lotto o Sweepstakes naman...with people involved.

This just proves that there's nothing fair in this world.

Sorry...I'm not an Ejay fan. I felt he did nothing much than court Valerie inside the house. Hindi rin ako Nicole fan. If Josef didn't go out of the house sooner, what could have happened between them? Siguro si Beauty pwede pa...despite the fact na nagkaroon siya ng Alex. At least aminado siyang may girlfriend si Alex...unlike Nicole na parang nakalimutang may iniwan sila ni Josef sa labas na mga [probably not] special someone. Beauty's changed much (for the better) in the PBB house...and I'm not only talking about her figure. =p

O siya siya...nagrarant lang. Nakakainis lang eh. If I were to choose the big four, they'd be Robi, Beauty, Valerie, and Rona (not necessarily in order). Sawa na ako sa linyang: "I want to help my parents [financially]." Fact and yet so cliche. I bet there are better reasons than that one.

Don't you ever wonder kung bakit laging 2 boys and 2 girls nagiging big four? Ang weird lang kasi. Tapos kanina, ang bilis pang umakyat ng votes for Ejay. Just observing.

I had one of the most amazing days yesterday (or make that two days ago...Thursday).

It was an all girls day out...which included namely me, my mom, and sis.

Since Cathe was stuck in her low paying [and hopefully not thankless] job (Haha! Just rubbing it in sis til I get my LRT card ;p), Ma and I went shopping at Sta. Lucia East Grand Mall...yeah...that mall. Since I am totally not a sun or heat worshipper and I hate commuting, I settled for some place near na lang. Bought a lot of things for myself...as in. That was fun. Hehe. =p I bought new school shoes (Ma insists), a new bra (instead of the pants Mama promised to buy me...so you can just imagine how I love my new bra. =p Oh...I'll get Papa to buy me the pants...his reaction: "Magkano ba kailangan mo?" Ka-ching! Ka-ching! ;O), some new white undies (haay...for school), and a new bag (na sobrang matagal ko na gusto...at may isa pa akong gusto...hehe). I'm just so grateful that I can buy most of the things I want now...thanks to Papa's [very thankful] new job. Oh...I haven't blogged about that right? Well...moving on to the next paragraph...

Papa left his old job for a newer one which does not involve solvents. I don't even know what the company's name is, but it involves spices...thus, Papa goes home smelling like all spice at times. =p Papa has too many reasons to leave his old job...but I prefer telling people that he has lost discipline from his old job (don't ask me to explain that here). Anyway, the new one pays kinda similar to the old one...but with greater benefits. Papa has a new SUV (the old company gave him Rex so we have three cars at home already), a new phone (it's a Nokia phone so I'm not naiinggit :p), a great gasoline and toll fee allowance (which is good because he works either in his office in Alabang or in Calauan, Laguna...gasoline alone costs a thousand a day...everything's reimbursed...no questions asked), and a soon-to-arrive new laptop (so I can use his old one na siguro? =p). Well, more than all those material things combined (my Papa's spoiled noh?), my dad goes home tired and sleepy and I barely see him (since I sleep in til noon and he goes out early...but weekdays are free now), but I know he's more satisfied than ever. Nothing beats that.

Anyway, back to my amazing day...

Since Ma and I had to wait for Cathe (she goes off work at 5:30ish...late talaga office clock nila), we ate muna at KR. Then more window shopping after. When Cathe finally arrived, we finally watched a movie...which was none other than...drum roll please...Caregiver (Haven't I given enough clues back there?).

I tried to hold back tears...as in. Haha. You know me...I'm always the teary-eyed after a movie (be it mababaw pa). Pero the movie's great. Benta yung kasama naming nanood na iyak ng iyak. =p The movie made me appreciate the fact that I have both of my parents with me. We may not be well off but it pays to have both of them here.

So there...malaki pala talaga yung newly renovated cinemas ng Sta. Lucia. Such a waste of space. =p The restrooms would have been better if they had it "sensor-ized" like that in Rob.

Went home late. Missed Lobo. Haha. So what? ;p

I had another "tsunami" encounter in my dream. Had my sis google out a dream interpretation. 

• November 2004
• December 2004
• January 2005
• February 2005
• March 2005
• April 2005
• May 2005
• June 2005
• July 2005
• August 2005
• September 2005
• October 2005
• November 2005
• December 2005
• January 2006
• February 2006
• March 2006
• April 2006
• May 2006
• June 2006
• July 2006
• August 2006
• September 2006
• October 2006
• November 2006
• December 2006
• January 2007
• February 2007
• March 2007
• April 2007
• May 2007
• June 2007
• July 2007
• August 2007
• September 2007
• October 2007
• November 2007
• December 2007
• January 2008
• February 2008
• March 2008
• April 2008
• June 2008
• July 2008
• August 2008
• October 2008
• January 2009

• catHeY - yaHoo
• catHeY - xaNga
• kriSSy
• yeLLa
• baRbZ
• taLia
• zeDka
• juLz
• oRgaSm
• joYie
• riCh kiD

• muLtipLy
• yaHoo eMaiL
• gMail
• googLe
• bLoggeR
• bLogsKins
• mYspaCe
• phoTobuCket
• deViaNt arT
• Who links to my website?

Layout design & graphics by mela
Powered by Blogger
WWF for the li'l side pictures
Photos taken from various sites - googled and yahooed.
The rest...the works...fabulous and shit...edited by yours truly :)

*HUGS* TOTAL! give nadZ more *HUGS*

geocities hit counter

This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.5 License.

© 2006 tiniwinie