I'm so happy and satisfied...coz I bought my "dream" bra.

Weird.

*Haay...pagbigyan na...babae eh.*

And now I'm penniless.

Hehe! :D

We're going to Manaoag in 1.5 hours...that's 3am on the clock. I won't be sleeping na coz I slept awhile ago. Too much excitement, I guess. That's what shopping does to you. *Even if you only bought one item. ;p*

Ayan...medyo feel ko nang mag-update. :)

I've been busying myself with uploading pictures in my Multiply account (naka-draft mode pa pala). Eh kasi, para derecho na. Pag thru Photobucket or Blogger pa, medyo hassle. Grabe kasi! Nakakatamad tumambay sa tapat ng PC. Ang init ngayon. Ang lagkit lagi nung feeling. Wish ko lang eh nakababad ako sa swimming pool. Well, hindi pa rin ako natutuloy mag-swimming.

Ang dami kong ikukwento pero that would be dragging na siguro. Basta. I had pre-graduation blues due to preparations. I entered six different malls finding the perfect outfit. Because of that, may bagong requirement para sa pipiliin kong boyfriend...dapat good shopping partner at hindi madaling mapagod sa paglalakad...kahit walang kainan. ;p To add to the stress, my plants never succeeded in sprouting because the rats kept on digging every time they felt safe doing so. Also, I failed to get a foot spa na siyang kina-dismaya ko ng husto. Long story.

Last April 20, we had a grad party at Janero Bar near the ABS-CBN compound. It was okay, but it ended pretty much early (11pm) and I was never in a partying mood. I dunno if the bad service of the bar had something to do with it. With 50 pesos entrance fee required of us, we had a glass of iced tea, rice, sauteed mushrooms, tofu, and sisig plus an hour wait (bad service I should say). I was never expecting much, but then again, with my parents texting me that they were eating at Superbowl, I had this feeling of wanting to run to them for a better dinner.

Fine. Special mention na nga dahil madalas din namang mangulit sa blog ko. April 21. Danci's birthday. Next time na yung gift ha. ;p

Actually, magkikita pa kaming madalas non. We're going to be schoolmates for med. I'll be entering UERM come this June. I did a longer post about my med plans, but I took it out of publication as soon as I had it published. Sabi ko, next time na lang siguro. Pag right time. :)

As for the two-day graduation last April 22 and 23, things were well. I liked the University Grad better because I felt less stressed then. That's despite of the scorching afternoon heat. Ang liit ng medals ha. Yung sa University, understandable kasi marami kami pero sa College? Er...mas malaki pa ata yung sa CAL. Mas malaki pa nga yung medal ni Cathe eh. Siya ang Outstanding Student for 2nd yr LA students. Hindi ko na trip magkwento eh. Basta...see pictures at Multiply na lang.

I got kinda disappointed though. Sa dinami-dami ng mga picture taking nung grad, wala man lang kaming picture ni bes. Hindi man lang kami nagkita. Oh well...nagtatampo ako. Next time na yung kwento.

Last Saturday din, nagpunta kami sa induction dito sa Area 8 sa subdivision. I had a great time kahit mas maraming matatandang nandon. Pinapak ko lang naman yung mangga don. The frustrated dancer that I am, and with bigger liking for ballroom dancing, nakisali din ako sa sayawan don. Sheesh! Pinagpawisan lang ako.

Ang init na. For the past few days, I've been a total bum in the house, sleeping until late in the morning, eating for like every hour, and watching TV all day. We're probably going to Manaoag tomorrow for that annual visit. Tapos, overnight at some place to go see the Bangus Festival. It's at Dagupan ata, if I'm not mistaken. Summer's just beginning.

Daming naghahanap ng Labrador at kung anu-ano pang aso lately. Weird. Kawawa si Jamjam ngayon...nabubulag na ata due to old age.

Next week, we're leaving as well for Bayawan for our reunion. Hope it goes well.

My sister has been tormenting me on updating my blog. Is my blog interesting? I'll never know.

Oh well...one week din naman kasi akong stressed and a li'l depressed. You expect me to fix my blog then? I guess these are all just pre-graduation blues.

Well...there are lots of updating to do then. But I'm still not over those pre-/post-graduation blues still. I just graduated from college today and I'm still not really over that graduation frenzy.

Anyway, I'll be updating more next time and explaining lots of things that has happened. I suggest you come back on Monday...that is if I don't find myself swimming on some pool.

I'm leaving some pictures I've fixed from two "salubongs" we attended last Easter Sunday. Haha! I've busied myself learning how to use Adobe Imageready. It's actually my first time to attend the salubong...este, make that two "salubongs" in a day. First one was at the Cainta Catholic Church. The second one was at Greenpark. The last pictures are some pictures from my phone which I've edited during one of those boring moments I had at Papa's office in Makati. I had no one to talk to then...except perhaps listen to some people making tsismis while doing their "call center" jobs.







More pictures next time. Each has its own story to tell, but I'm just too lazy to tell them.

Got crazy with fabrics awhile ago.

It is only now that I had the opportunity to buy the fabric for my grad dress. Unfortunately, I got caught up with the Holy Week holidays so most of the fabric stores we went to were closed. Anyway, it was my first time to go to the main branch of Fabric Warehouse awhile ago. We searched Libis just for it. The one in Sta. Lucia closed down due to a high rental price. I've never seen so much fabric in my whole life. Really. I can go crazy in there. My parents even. They bought fabric for their pants as well. Papa had six while Mama had two. I love the place. It doesn't even smell bad (coz fabric stores sometimes smell bad). I'll definitely go back there. Too bad...sis didn't come with us. She wanted to sew something for herself as well.

I'll do more shopping tomorrow. Buy my shoes if possible. Buy another dress if I find one. Otherwise, I'll have the mananahi do two dresses. He doesn't mind. He's going to rush mine. Hehe! Suki eh. Good thing that he's good...although I pity him of course. Two dresses in one week. That's quite bad...but I bet his wallet's happy. :)

My sis and I are busy making somebody else's wedding invitations.

Good business...if we're only into it.

I remember Krystel telling me that we can make some business out of making invitations. That was after she saw Cathe's debut invitations last March 2005.

Haha! Great idea she got there.

Actually, come to think of it...we can even do planning and coordinating. Raise it up a notch higher. Cathe (including her bestfriend) can do the planning and the creativity aspect. They're good with that and PR as well. I can do the technicalities...infuse a li'l creativity...and do the accounting stuff, which I'm good at. ;)

However, according to Psychology, it's not really good rewarding something we like, like doing invites, with money. You may associate internal rewards with external ones. Blah, blah, blah...

I'm not really good with my Psychology. Honestly, my professors are very generous with the grade. My grade goes for working hard.

One thing about Holy Week...it has changed yet it still seems to have not changed at all.

It has somehow lacked it's meaning for some. See? They're all vacationing in Bora or Galera for that matter. I saw the interviews on TV and the people there, even if they say they pray or reflect at night, I still can't seem to imagine them doing that. Empty words. And I'm not being bitter for not being in some vacation hot spot for that matter. I am guilty still as well. At 3pm, the time that Jesus is crucified, I was lying in bed and watching 7th Heaven with Papa.

The usual TV shows, like usual, weren't aired on TV and instead were replaced by good old reruns and marathons. The thing with marathons, they're really not boring for me. Kinda like them. I was able to watch Gilmore Girls and 7th Heaven...catching up on episodes I haven't seen. Gilmore Girls reminds me of my relationship with Mama...barkada-like or something. As for 7th Heaven, the last epi awhile ago kinda made me think of my decision of being a doctor. Makes me think back of worthy reasons why I'm choosing this career. Well, the first time I thought of being a doctor was way way back in a car when I was a kid (probably less than 10 yrs. old). I simply said that I wanted the white frocks (made me think of becoming a nun as well...not cut out for that though). I don't know if that was good enough reason, but it was a start. Eventually, I began thinking of being a doctor for the barrios just like an aunt who, despite being a board topnotcher, went all the way to Africa to some missionary work. Never heard from her ever again though. Then, I wanted to help my parents, most especially Mama since she has goiter problems. Now, are my reasons okay enough?

I finished "Honey Moon" already, hence I slept at around 3 in the morning already. It was kinda good although I wasn't comfortable with the sudden shifts in the perspectives used in the book. One minute you're reading in the first person POV and the next thing you read, it's on the 3rd person POV already. Get's kinda confusing. I keep on bombarding my blog with phrases from the book and I still am not over that.

I was hemmed in by four walls, I was very safe. I still felt like I might fall over the edge. Fall over the edge of the world. I'd stepped into another dimension -- or, rather, I had a sense of the world being two-dimensional. I mean, what if the things that seemed so far away were, in fact, just on the other side? What if we lived in a flat world rather than a round world so that just on the other side of despair was joy, just on the other side of deprivation was abundance and just on the other side of loneliness was love? What if the things we want so badly were right there in front of us the whole time? What if we just had to reach our hand through the invisible barrier?

Sometimes I think reality is the most painful thing in life. And that's a terrible thing because reality is the only thing in life. When you come to think of it.

I beg to disagree on the part regarding reality and it being the only thing in life although it's very basic in life...in some way. There are imaginations and things that may only run in our heads that are still part of life. The thing is, with imaginations, they may complicate matters. They are able to distort reality and make it more painful for us to accept reality.

I've been doing some reading lately. I'm progressing with "Honey Moon". New quote:

Sometimes, getting what you want is the hardest thing of all.

Ain't that true?

I did some internet reading as well. I liked this one definition of love: A spice with many tastes.

Here pa...

Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep. (Scott Adams)

Napapansin ko lang lately, if I here something like some quotable quote or lesson in life, I really listen hard and keep that in mind and heart. Most things seemed to have some sort of meaning for me. As if I'm living some sort of new life or something.

Speaking of new life, the stupid rat did some more hacking with my sunflower plants. I checked the seeds late this afternoon and they're nearly sprouting. But guess what? I came home this evening only to find out that some rat probably had fun again and ate all the seeds. None remained. Kainis! I should've put the safety lid. Anyway, I've planted new seeds again.

Kawawang rabbits. Nabawasan ule food nila. I love feeding them pa naman. Medyo close na kasi kami nung rabbits...hindi na sila mailap eh. The brown one even keeps on coming near to me. Takot lang ako minsan. Kinagat kasi si Mama ng rabbit dati. They just might attack me or something. Weird noh? I love animals, but I'm afraid of them. Some sort of instinct probably. =p

Just wanna share something I read from a book:

We spend all this time and effort wondering who to love and if we love them enough. But the hardest thing is being loved.

I have yet to finish the book. It's titled "Honey Moon" by the way. Weird title but it's actually the name of the lead character. I don't know if this one's good but it's the 2nd time I've tried reading it. The first time, I got bored and left it unread except for the first 50 pages or something. Now that I'm rereading it, the story's still somewhat dragging but my perspective has changed. I'm seeing it in a new light. :) There's even this great analogy in the book, but I'd rather not expound on that for the meantime.

***

Stupid rat by the way. It dug through my "yet to sprout" sunflower plants. I didn't bother checking if it took a seed. Let's see when the the plants have grown.

***

Anyway, Mama came home yesterday. She came in late. Air traffic...Holy Week season blues. I'm glad she's back. Things seem easier when she's around. And yeah...it's much louder and I have someone to talk to now. :) Cathe seems aloof sometimes...just giving me the nod or less talk than before. Talk about maturity...or love. Whatever! No offense meant sis. I'm hearing your Ipod again...on full loud volume. I bet you're sleeping already. Hehe! :D

***

I had my afternoon siesta once again. Hay! I woke up late and I wasn't able to go to the mananahi to have ask about my grad dress. I still haven't had one made. Hehe!:D Bahala na.

My thyme and oregano plants have sprouted as well. Still have no idea of what to do with them besides staring and watching out for their growth. I have no intentions of researching about thyme. Not now. What's it for anyway? Sheesh!

I've dug out one of my sunflower seeds and it seems to be growing. Just planted 26 seeds yesterday (from our rabbit feeds) and I'm quite excited about them as well. I should have planted them earlier just like what they did in UP so that they'd look beautiful come summer time. Oh well.

I don't really have a green thumb. Just pretending I have one. Mama's the plant lover here. She's into Euphorbia now...and a bit of cacti before that. She gets them mostly for free from friends and relatives. Buti na lang. They can really get expensive kasi. Me? I love starting from seeds. It's a great achievement seeing them sprout and grow...like you have kids to take care of or something. =p

I hope my plants don't die from the heat. It's really bothering me now. Good thing that we have aircon or else. Whew!

Mama's coming home today and I've stopped doing those cleaning chores. I'm quite allergic to dust and my nose is reacting worse than ever. It's kinda okay now. I still haven't faced our bookshelves so it can get worst if I started cleaning my books. Rows and rows of them.

Don't ask me to wear a face mask. I feel like I look stupid. =p

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My basil plants have sprouted already! :D

Anyone here care to teach me how to cook/create a decent pesto sauce for my pasta? I tried doing it once before and it sucked. Please teach me! :D

Updates?

Well, I promised I won't be talking about med school for now so next time na siya.

Natuloy kami nina Ivy, JL, and Dean sa Gateway nung Wednesday. We had some picture taking (I'm not easily satisfied with my pictures so I won't be posting it for now...have to get used to it first), had lunch at Pizza Hut (that at Gateway's overpriced...yung restro/bistro nila...putik! yung fave kong garlic shrimps and mushrooms eh 155 when it was usually less than a hundred), and watched a movie ("She's the Man"...great movie...had me laughing...now I wanna try out soccer naman. ;p). We didn't go to the carnival already since it opens at 4pm pa raw. Musta naman? Pumunta kami doon only to find it empty and quiet.

I did more cleaning at the house after Wednesday. Did some laundry 'til my poor hands tired and weary. Did some planting. Now, I have thyme, basil, lemon balm, oregano, and mint. O ha! Accessible fresh herbs. ;)

Got this from Friendster. Eh ayokong i-post don. Sa blog na lang para magkasilbi. ;p

FEAR: (I fear 36 out of 66 things...Shux! Over half?)

[x] the dark --> depends when I'm outside or inside
[x] staying single --> that is when I turn 35 siguro...
[ ] getting married
[x] being a parent --> very slight
[x] giving birth --> due to watching several videos on giving birth...who wouldn't feel the same?
[ ] being myself in front of others
[ ] open spaces
[ ] closed spaces
[x] heights --> depends...security lang naman
[ ] cats
[x] dogs --> talaga! kahit marami kaming dogs...
[ ] birds
[x] spiders and/or other insects
[x] driving or being in cars --> fast driving...at ako ay passenger...
[x] flying --> in an airplane...that was after my parents almost experienced a plane crash

* I have this illusion of marrying a pilot or someone that works in an airline...wala lang. Gusto ko lang ng free airplane rides. Hehe! :D

[ ] being put to sleep
[ ] flowers or other plants
[x] being touched --> wrongly, that is...
[x] fire
[ ] water
[x] the ocean
[ ] pools
[x] failure
[ ] success
[ ] germs
[ ] thunder/lightning
[ ] frogs/toads --> unless they jumped at me...
[x]mice/rats --> if they bit me or something
[x] jumping from high places --> ...without a harness perhaps?
[ ] snow
[x] rain --> only when I'm wearing light colored pants or flipflops...
[ ] wind
[ ] cemeteries
[ ] clowns
[x] large crowds --> in frightfully tight spaces
[x] demons or evil --> and i'm the witch? =p
[x] crossing bridges --> hanging bridges
[x] death
[x] Hell
[ ] Heaven
[x] being robbed --> not again!
[x] being sexually assulted
[ ] men
[ ] women
[ ] having great responsibility
[ ] doctors, including dentists
[x] tornadoes --> luckily, I'm in the Philippines...
[x] hurricanes --> same as above...
[x] being punished --> for everyone else to see...
[x] diseases, including cancer and STD's
[x] snakes
[x] sharks
[ ] dinosaurs --> unless they're back from the dead
[ ] Friday the 13th
[x] poverty --> me being poor and all
[x] ghosts
[ ] Halloween
[ ] school
[ ] trains or railroads
[ ] fear
[x] being alone
[x] losing my friends
[x] being blind to things --> literally?
[x] being deaf
[ ] growing up
[x] being murdered in my sleep

I'm very happy. Last sem in UP and great grades (humabol pa for a US). :D Althought there's this little tingle of disappointment (for working really hard in one subject and getting a grade I feel I don't deserve), all's well with me. Secured. I'm graduating with honors. :)

I went to school kanina to fix things for graduation, but I still haven't finished it. I think one of my grades came in late so I can't completely finish it. It's nearly 2AM in my clock here. I know I better be sleeping early, but I have been sleeping for like hours now (thanks to a major headache). My back's sore and I need some rest from sleeping. I really want to call Mama now, but I guess that won't be good etiquette. Who knows? She might be sleeping with someone else in her room now...and knowing Mama, she probably has her phone on some blasting loud profile right now.

I'm going out with Ivy, JL, Dean, and Merta later. I don't know where we're exactly heading but I'm presuming we're going out for a movie, some picture taking, good food, and a carnival. =p

***

I was watching the news the other night. It featured Havaianas...wherein you could mix and match different colors of soles and straps and even put pins on it. You can create your own style. Shux! I just hope I have the money for it. I don't know if it's still up and running, but I hope I get to create one for myself.

I'm facing my fear of platform sandals. This time, it's wedges/espadrilles. Not really platform as in but it's really close. Haha! Watch out when's the next time I shall be tripping and flying. ;)

One thing that Mama's trip did good was that we had more bonding time with Papa...although we still call Mama everyday for hour long calls.

We went shopping yesterday (Sunday). Actually, we did more than the usual shopping. We first had lunch at Chowking and bought desserts at Goldilocks. We went to Taytay to check shirts for our reunion, bought DVDs (even in it's pirated glory), and went to buy one of the tastiest rice we ever tasted.

Then, we went to Megamall to do more shopping. Unfortunately, after several hours of walking (with Papa in tow and not complaining), we barely bought anything. We didn't find what we were looking for...although I did buy a new pearl bracelet and a pair of earrings...but that was it. Well, we just ate dinner and left after.

With Mama in Cebu (and currently on a trip back to Iloilo), we barely eat home cooked food. We either eat out or eat take out food.

I got to watch Brokeback Mountain last night. Shux! Napaiyak ako. Hehe! :D It was good. Honestly, it got me thinking on lots of things. Discrimination for one thing. Love for another. But it got me thinking as well about my future. I don't want to be like Alma. Knowing your husband has a mistress is one thing. It's worst knowing if the one your husband really loves is a man/gay. Ouch! I'd really hate that.

Awhile ago, Cathe and I did more shopping after we got our ATM cards (at long last). Uhm...we didn't really use the card. Musta naman ang 100 pesos deposit diba? I have yet to fill that one up. Anyway, I have new stuff. I'd rather not tell what I bought. Hehe! :)

We are spoiled when Mama's not around. I miss having her around though. I miss the noise. I miss joking around. ;p

I heard some news from Cathe awhile ago. Apparently, my grandma (who's in Bayawan now) is being suspected of being an aswang. Haha! Natawa ako. I know we're from Siquijor but not everyone that comes there are aswangs. I don't even know one. I know Lola's strange, but never that strange. Cathe said it probably was because of her weirdly fixed hair...as if we can do anything about that. Pero sabi nga ni Papa, it isn't a good joke. Paninira raw...especially since my aunt's fam in Bayawan is quite respected. Even my cousin's cousin doesn't even want to go to the farm to sleep (my lola sleeps in the house in the farm). Grabe! We'll be having our reunion there this May. Watch out for more aswangs then? =p I can just imagine everyone's faces. Let's clear this out. I haven't eaten any human being. The only blood I ever sipped was my own blood (wounds and all) and that of dinuguan, medium-rare steaks, and badly cooked chicken drumsticks. Inner organs? Purely edible commonly eaten stuff. I'm a frustrated vegetarian. Promise...I'll inform you when some vampire bit me and if I turn into some aswang. Sheesh! Weird how crude some people think.

***

This is one of the closest thing we can get to strange. Presenting Ms. Kutkot Buhok and Ms. Bunot Balahibo.



Really...we don't grow fangs and turn into some strange monster, beast, or aswang.

Yes...Ma's not around...therefore, Papa, Cathe, and I are doing most of the house chores ourselves. The first few days weren't easy since Cathe and I were still quite busy with some school requirements. It was frustrating facing a pile of dishes and knowing for a fact that you have to study for two exams and finish a paper. That was last Thursday though. Now's better. I survived Friday...passing a not-so-good paper (it didn't meet my standards...oh well...at least I finished it), skimming through a quite well psych 135 exam (I hate seeing patterns on the answers...it's tempting to follow the pattern but when you really analyze the question, the answer just doesn't jive), and missing a few answers in my psych 180 exam (much to my irritation). Yeah! My Psych 180 exam marked the end of undergrad acad life. It will technically be over by the 22nd of April on my college grad. The university grad will happen the day after. Until then though, I still have to fix a few things - clearances, payments, and (most importantly) my graduation dress. ;p It feels different knowing that next schoolyear, I'll still be studying for med and not working. I already turned one phonecall for a job and I didn't even bother asking for details.

Cathe and I were thinking of things we would like to do before Ma comes back. Well, we played badminton last night. We played against Papa (poor he). It was a great game despite the faults. We weren't professionals after all. We even got the shuttlecock stuck on some high ledge. Hehe! :D We shall do more of that...badminton games every week perhaps. That is if my arm stops aching already (as always after every exercise). Sleeping on the floor doesn't help (I sleep on my parents room since Ma's not around but I just can't fit in the bed last night with Cathe and Papa taking most of the space so I slept on the floor instead). My body aches all over now.

I slept really late last night and watched Kontrobersyal and the feature regarding money collectors in particular. I can totally relate...from keeping crisp money bills and not spending those with overprints. :D

Then this morning, Cathe and I did some house cleaning. I was supposed to clean and fix my school stuff, but I got involved in cleaning the stuff cluttered around the PC instead. That took me until evening so I just had to skip fixing my stuff some other time.

Tomorrow, we'll probably do some shopping. I have to find my grad dress (or I'll have one sewn otherwise) and I have some responsibilities as well for our fam reunion this May. These include buying everyone's shirt (and choosing the color), urging Papa to start the printing as soon as possible, and (the very odd job of) looking for a certain Magic Sing for my aunt who wants to do some singing lessons with his husband. =p

As for what I'll be doing for next week, I planned to keep myself quite busy. I have to fix our room first, fix some school stuff come Monday and Tuesday, and attend our grad party this Friday. I'm not sure though of some things like going swimming. I definitely don't want to look too dark for my grad. Danci wants to have some kind of badminton tournament and I want to do that as well. I still have to treat my bes out sometime. The trip to Galera is still out for sure. I checked for resorts and hotels online and I never realized that Galera was like Bora. It has one big strip as well and I can't decide which is the best area to stay. Enlighten me on this one please.

That's all for now. I'm torn between writing my entry and watching PBB. I even saw some batchmates...including one who gave an award. Sheesh! So that's why they've been talking about PBB before class last time. As expected, Keanna won. PBB has changed my view of Keanna (for the better naman).

So there...I have to sleep early for more shopping tomorrow. We've been calling Ma everyday (thanks to PLDT 10 peso-calls) and I have to call her early tomorrow.

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